Dear Auntie Dr. Praise;

Q&A

Woman in her late 30s: I don't really know where to start. I've been in a relationship with a married man for the past five years. I didn't realize at first, not for about six months. I was so angry that I broke it off when I found out. But he was persistent. He wooed me back with gifts, dinners, a trip to Dubai… He said it was complicated with his wife, that he loved me, and it was unexpected. He financially supported me and my son, and I felt so loved. Now he's gone. He died in a car accident on his way to see me. I went to the funeral, and his wife... she looked at me like she knew. I feel so ashamed. I'm grieving, but I can't talk to anyone. I know what I did was wrong. I feel so lonely. I want to move on, to be the woman God wants me to be, but I don't feel like I deserve real love. It feels like it's for other women, not me."

Auntie Dr. Praise:

First of all, I am sorry for your loss. Now let's tackle the issue at hand. You are grieving the loss of someone you loved, regardless of the circumstances. Grief is a natural process, and your feelings are valid. Take some time to sit in your pain and feel the feelings you are feeling. Reflect on the good times you shared. They were real and that relationship was real to you regardless of how we from the outside may look at it.

I will not skate around the issue, What you did getting involved in a relationship with a married man was wrong. We all do wrong things, and we all do bad things. What you did was stupid but you are not a stupid girl. You have a son and you have a whole life ahead of you. It is time for you to embrace this new chapter in your life.

The shame and guilt you feel are understandable. But remember, God's love is redemptive. 1 John 1:9 says, 'If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.' This is a promise. Confession is the first step toward healing. Confess your sins to God and he will help you heal.

You mentioned feeling unworthy of love. This is a lie the enemy would love for you to believe. God's love is unconditional and abundant. Romans 5:8 reminds us, 'But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.' You are worthy of love, not because of what you've done, but because of who God is.   

It will be very important for you to believe your worthiness and to understand your value, because if you dont you will end up in the same kind of relationship again. This is your time to grow and bloom into the woman God is calling you to be. You are worthy of love and all good things.

Healing is a process and it will take some time. Be patient with yourself. Focus on your relationship with God and your son. It is your time to bloom and unless you forgive yourself, you will not be able to become all you are called to be. Replace the enemy's lies with God's truth and meditate on scripture to help you as you grow in your healing journey.

It is important to remember that God doesn't want you to live in shame. He wants you to live in freedom and experience true love. Your past mistakes do not define you. You are a daughter of the King. He sees your heart, hears your cries, and is ready to heal and restore you. Let Him guide you on this journey.

Ciao bella-